SK Dynamo Ceske Budejovice 0, FC Viktoria Plzen 0

With yesterday being my birthday it's just as well I'm not drinking, as today is an 'early to bed, early to rise' day. But not quite as early as it actually was...

I'd set my alarm early, so I could get the 7.15am train to Ceske Budejovice, all well and good, and all in plenty of time. It was only when I got to the station that I looked up at the clock and realised I was an hour early, having forgotten that the clocks had gone back! Doh!

As luck would have it the first train of the day to my destination was at a quarter past six, so I would be there just before nine, instead of ten. Not the biggest disaster in the world. The game I'm off to is a three o'clock kick off in the Czech First Division, the first top flight match of my trip. SK Ceske Budejovice versus FK Viktoria Plzen. It's a 'two sport double header' day, as at five o'clock the ice hockey team, HC Mountfield, are also playing, against Pardubice. Coincidentally, I also did a football/hockey double when I visited Plzen in 2004.

Back at my hostel in Prague I'd been conversing with Sigma, a fellow Kempsterite from the (now) Non League Matters forum, and he mentioned that the Under Nineteens were at home this morning, with an 11.00am kick off, but he wasn't sure of the venue. He thought it might be at a ground he'd found on the internet, but it turned out to be the main First Team stadium, so no luck there.

Not the end of the world as, for once, Ceske Budejovice seemed a half decent sized town to stroll around, and it was a bright sunny morning, so I couldn't complain. Having got there I nearly shat my pants though...seriously! Nothing to do with local hooligans or anything, but I had a case of the trots!I'd got up early, and didn't have my 'morning constitutional', just a bit of farting! It didn't bother me, you just go when you gotta go! On getting to Ceske Budejovice it was still early, and being a Sunday, the town wasn't really awake. And then I realised I had to go, but couldn't find any toilets! Not to worry, I wasn't desperate, but half an hour or so later it really was clenched buttocks time! I remembered walking past a McDonalds not far from the station so quickly retraced my steps. Not easy when you are desperately clenching your bum! Thankfully I got there just in time...and boy, oh boy, what a relief!

Now I could enjoy the sights! And also do a bit of shopping, as there was one place open, the Albert chain supermarket. So I went in & bought some rolls, ham, cheese & salami for breakfast, with more for later on. Carrying on down the pedestrianised area I crossed a sort of ring road, & found a town map on a board, to get my bearings, noting down the directions I needed to the ground for the morning game, easy as I had the street name, & had drawn a map from the one that Sigma had linked to. It was still quite early, & it looked not too far away, so I continued up to the big old square in the town,which some nice old 'picture postcard' buildings, but it was still early, with not many people up and about.

At about half ten I headed for the ground I thought was the youth venue, and proceeded to get lost, going round in circles a little, but found it. right place, wrong ground. This was the main stadium, and by now it was about a quarter past eleven. I can't see any sign of, nor signs to 'second pitches', so I have no idea where the Under 19 match was. Even this early though, a ticket booth was open for the main match, & I bought a ticket for 120 Kc. I knew it was a fairly small ground, but didn't know what sort of crowds they got, so didn't know if it be close to a sell out or not. I doubted it, but better to safe than sorry.

After that I wandered about a little, over a footbridge & into a nearby park. I wasn't sure where I was heading, but I had plenty of time on my side until the three o'clock kick off. I suppose on the off-chance I might find a local Sunday morning kickabout if I'm honest! But I heard no distant whistles, which is usually a giveaway.

Which, sort of worked for me, back in the early nineties, on one of my last decent (drinking) groundhopping trips. After that any spare money I had was spent on booze, and I couldn't 'afford' to go abroad properly, as alcohol took a serious grip on my life. Anyway I was based in Amsterdam, and was off to a match at Willem II Tilburg. I thought it was an afternoon match, but it turned out it was an evening one. From vague memory the ground was a bit of a way out from the town centre, & I got a bus there. Which was when I found out it was a night time kick off. I couldn't face the journey back into town, in case I got lost & couldn't find my way back. I know it sounds silly, but alcohol muddles the brain, & my priority was finding a local bar. I couldn't see one, but came to a park & heard a whistle. Yes! A local non-league game, and-thus- a clubhouse. not quite! It turned out an encounter was just starting in the national baseball league, a sport I knew nothing about, nor cared for. And that's how I watched the first & only game of baseball in my life watching Tilburg! I paid my few guilders entrance, and YES! there was a bar. The game dragged on, but I wasn't really following it. I necked back beer after beer, and got merrily drunk! I do recall the barman being a bit shocked at my consumption, but they were only those small 'half' glasses with all the froth on, as is the continental way, so it wasn't difficult to knock back a couple of dozen.

I eventually left for the Willem II match. I have no idea who they were playing, nor the score, but vaguely recall it was large open terracing behind the goal, which is where I was stood, drinking more beer. And at one stage a hot air balloon flew over! They had some sort of brass terrace band, & I started conducting them, & singing Dulwich Hamlet songs, much to the (be)-amusement of the locals. I got talking to them & one asked what I was doing there. I said it was to watch Tilburg, meaning to 'tick' the ground, but he misunderstood it to mean I was a long distance Tilburg admirer from London, making his first pilgrimage! He insisted on buying me beers for the rest of the game, and refused all my efforts to reciprocate. Who was I to argue! After the final whistle I was 'forced' to go into the clubhouse & have a few more, and they then insisted on paying for a taxi to get me back to the station so I could get the last train back to Amsterdam! Which is just as well, as I don't think I would had any idea how to get back to the station! It sounds a cracking story, but looking back it's a bit shocking how much drink I necked...

Fast foward back to today, in a deserted Czecho park, and it bright and sunny. not the warmest, but still a good few degrees above freezing. There are a number of circular benches around the base of trees & I sit down on one to start my breakfast picnic. I get a book out of my bag, and read. It's not something I do back home, not the reading bit but taking time out in a park. I am unexpectedly contentedly happy. for these few moments I don't have a worry in the world, not really thinking about anything in particular, just totally chilling out. It feels strange, but in a nice wonderfully weird way. I'm only interupted when two teenage students come up to me & ask me something in Czech. I apologise, and say I only speak English. The girl replies falteringly, that they are sorry for disturbing me. They would have like to ask some questions and film my responses, for a college project. But their English is not strong enough. And they're on their way. As soon as theyr'e gone I wish I'd asked them to try to explain what their assignment was, as it's starting to bug me already, but there you go!

After an hour or so I get restless and head back toward the town centre. There are a few places open now and I pop into a church & a gallery, before climbing up the Black Tower that overlooks the main square. I love tall structures like this, but am my own worst enemy, as my knee gives me a bit of gyp, which I try to ignore as I get older, Just a twinge now & again, not painful, but annoying, if you know what I mean. But I'm a sucker for high up panoramas. I prefer towers that have lifts, but this one does not. From the top there's the usual landmarks marked out on photos for you to match up what you're looking at. More importantly, from a time perspective, as it's now less than an hour to kick off, I get a perfect route to the football stadium. And, as luck would have it, it's right by the ice hockey arena!

Once I'm back down the bottom that's the end of my 'being a tourist' . I stop at the rink to get my ticket, purchasing the cheapest for the standing area behind one of the goals, which is a mere 100Kc. then it's straight ahead for the football ground.

I had planned to take a few pictures outside the ground, but it's getting close to kick off, so I head straight in, buying a glossy 24 page programme for only 15Kc outside. It's full colour, not sure of the size, one of those bigger than A5 but smaller than A4 efforts. The ground is smart but samey, my stand is along one side, with a smart blue plastic barreled roof over it. It has seating for 2,597. The section at the end, to my right, is fenced in, & this is the away area, with seats for 378. The goal to my left has identical seating & roofing, as does the other end, but less of them. Opposite is the main stand, an older concrete one, with the players' tunnel in the middle. Thw whole place was reconstructed, in phases, between 2003 & 2006, and now has a capacity of 6,746, all seated. Prior to the rebuild it could hold 12,000; of which only fiteen hundred were seated. I have no idea what it looked like back then, but I think I'd have prefered it, just because it had terracing.

As per usual I take snaps of the ground once inside, but they are all from the one side, rather than all angles as I prefer. But I'm not complaining...about the ground! The football though is another story.....

You can't always get a pulsating match that keeps you engrossed for the whole ninety minutes, but dear oh dear, I doubt if there was a decent ninety seconds of football! I really should have studied the form book beforehand. Their previous two home matches we nil nils, and now here was a third!

Just as well I'm not a serious as some groundhoppers, who don't count a ground as a 'tick' if they haven't seen a goal! Goos luck to them, but i'm not coming back in two weeks time, thank you very much! Strange people some folk, surely you're there to visit the ground..hence the description of the hobby. If it's goals you want then become a bloody GOALhopper!


The first half was really dire, & the more it wore on the more I looked over at the clock on the scoreboard, to see how much longer I had to suffer! There were a couple of early attmepts on goal in the opening ten minutes, one from each side, but any other rare attempts were weak longer range hit & hope efforts that ballooned over the bar. There may have been one or two efforts from Dynamo, but nothing of note from Plzen. Which was worrying, as they were the mid-table visitors, of which I expected a bit more. Not that it curbed their hemmed in fans, about forty or so had made the trip, who kept up their vocal support, including one who went topless a la Newcastle, even though the temperatures were dropping, as the sun started setting.


Such was the game for me, the most 'exciting' moment was when plumes of black smoke started rising from the stairwell behind me, along with the delicious smell of sausages, as I thought the tea bar had caught fire! nobody batted an eyelid, and it was just the way they cook them on the open barbeque style grills. I would have welcomed a bonfire down below...any distraction!


The other thing of 'note' was with about seven minutes left on the clock. Another awful wayward high shot caught a bloke in the back row behind the sparsely populated goal to my right in the face, and knocked his hat off!! Cue lots of laughter & ironic cheering all round the ground.

At half time I have my klobasa, well I had to as I'd spent the first half smelling them cooking!

They are quite fatty, but still tasty. And not too spicy, though funnily enough while I don't particularly like spicy &/or hot foods, I don't mind when it's salami or sausages. I always take care when biting into them, once burnt twice shy. This is because of an 'incident' on my first 'hopping' trip to Prague back in October 2003, when I was with two fellow Dulwich Hamlet fans Lawrence Marsh & Phil Baker. We had decided to go to watch Marila Pribram on the Saturday afternoon, principally because we thought this was the old Dukla Prague club. Which technically it was, just a franchise type move. It was actually an awful game, on a really cold day, when they lost 2-1 at home to Bisany. That ground was quite new, being rebuilt. At half time we tried, and just failed, to blag our way into the VIP bar, before heading round to the far end, which was a steel shell, still being built. behind it was a small refreshment hatch, in an old building. We bought klobasa, and while chatting I suddenly screamed in pain! Phil, who was standing at least a foot away from me, had bitten into his, and a piece of hot fat had shot out & hit me on my cheek! It was funny, but it did hurt! We still joke now & again about spitting sausages!

The second half was slightly more watchable than the first, but to be brutally honest I don't think it could have been much worse! There are a few early efforts from Plzen, the one of note being on the hour mark when the ball is knocked into the box & Pavel Kucera pulls off a fine save, blocking a shot from Milan Petrzela. Plzen are having a good spell, with the home keeper appearing to be a bit of a 'good shot stopper'. Oh how I hate that phrase! You know, when someone asks what a goalie is like, and the response is "He's a good shot stopper." Well he should be...that's his bloody job! He wouldn't be much of a keeper if he couldn't stop shots!

The deadlock was almost broken in the 67th minute when there was some sort of melee in the goalmouth, nothing much, and I certainly didn't notice anything untoward, Plzen put the ball over the line, but the referee blew for some sort of infringement.

Despite not having a shot on goal for the whole of the second half one of the home players did have a bit of a 'skillspot' moment. Petr Dolejs was advancing when the Plzen man Daniel Kolar came toward him. He then took great delight in 'nutzing' him, which was amusing I admit, but totally pointless, as the ball went straight to another Viktoria man!

Ceske Budejovic had a chance near the end when they earned a free kick on the edge of the box, but it came to nothing. The home crowd got a bit excited though, starting one of those rhythmic handclapping moments that the continentals like so much. Or maybe it was out of kindness, and it was just to wake up those who had fallen asleep, to let them know there was only two minutes left on the clock?

The final whistle goes, & I have ten minutes to get over to the ice hockey, which I do just in time for face off. Buying my ticket earlier has paid dividends, as there are queues outside at the ticket windows. Pardubice are the visitors, and they go home happy, winning 4-1; with three wearly goals to 'kill' the game at the start of the second period., after Mountfield had led in the first. I miss two of these, as I'm finishing off the delicious bowls of goulash soup on sale at the refreshment stands outside. Not that I'm too bothered, I'm not really bothered as I'm not supporting either side, just enjoying a sporting spectacle at another 'ticked off' rink, with the crowd of 5,645 being substantially more than the attendance that was at the football, which was 3,128.